French Medicine

Let's talk about doctors in France today.
I don't have a lot of previous experience with doctors here, because the last time I went to a French doctor my host mom took care of everything and it was really easy. The doctor was really nice, but I didn't have a serious problem so it wasn't a terrible time.
Fast-forward six years later.
My friend D. has a really bad sore throat, potentially strep throat (which I am desperately avoiding because there's some sort of Black Plague cutting a swathe through the singers here) and asks me to accompany him to the hospital because he doesn't speak French. You see, yesterday was Bastille Day and one of our professors told him all the doctors would be closed, so it would be best to go to the hospital. Mistake #1: hospital is at the top of a huge-ass hill. Who puts a hospital at the top of Mt. Everest?? My moisturizer/suncreen mixed with sweat was streaming into my eyes almost to the point of needing my own emergency room appointment by the time we got to the urgent care center, which was not, as is common in American hospitals, the first building or office on the campus. It's all the way in the back. I call that Mistake #1a. We get to urgent care and I explain to the receptionist what's going on, and she calls over a desk nurse to help us out. As I explain to her that we were sent here because no doctors were open, she says, "What?? Of course they're open!" - Mistake #2. She then directs us to one doctor at the bottom of the huge-ass hill and says he should be open, as it would be basically impossible for D. to be seen today as a sore throat is not really urgent.
On our way down, I consult the map and guide that we were given at orientation and suggest to D. that we go to one of the three doctors that are recommended on the guide. Mistake #3 - all three doctors are closed. I called all of them and didn't get anything, and none of their doorbell tags were clear enough that I could read with confidence what they said, except for one that I left a message with who was definitely not there. I then call the doctor located at Bottom of Huge-Ass Hill, whose receptionist tells me he's booked for the day but we should consult a local pharmacist to see who's open. Mistake #3a - pharmacist does not know who is open. She is also kind of a bitch and not terribly helpful, but she points out three more local doctors who are potentially open and sends us on our way. All three of THOSE doctors are closed, but one had the potential to actually be there later because his visiting hours were all sorts of weird, like 8am-11am and 4pm-6:30pm (how do doctors in France make money with these hours? I call that Mistake #3b) and we were there at 12:45pm or so. We decide to go back to this doctor at 4pm and think, "Hey, the pharmacist maybe would have something for pain, sore throat etc.," so we go back to the pharmacist.
Mistake #4 - pharmacist is definitely a bitch and not helpful. This pharmacy has no real counter, just a couple of island tables towards the back, so it's difficult (for foreigners anyway) to determine where we can and can't go. D. spots some lozenges behind said tables and goes to look at them. Pharmacist, while helping someone else, curtly tells him to get back on the other side. When it's finally our turn, I explain that all of the doctors were closed. She seemed shocked and demanded to know which ones we went to. I told her we went to all of the ones she pointed out, but there was one that looked like he'd be open again at 4pm. She then says, "Well, you'd better wait until then." I ask if, in the meantime, there's something she can give for pain, meaning lozenges (because D. had just been looking at them). She gives me a look like "are you effing kidding me?" then says "Well of course not! Something could negatively interact with his throat! Excuse-excuse-excuse!" and essentially dismisses us. I should point out to people in the states that pharmacies in France are kind of like a drugstore combined with a GNC - essentially everything in front of the counter is fairly useless (beauty products, lots of "vitamins" and "dietary supplements", baby stuff etc.) with useful stuff behind the counter (though they did have orthopedic supports, toothpaste, other stuff you'd find at a pharmacy). Of course, nothing in front of the counter was helpful, and I couldn't understand half of the labels anyway. So what do we do? Same thing any smart American does: go to a different pharmacy. This one was smaller, a bit more sketch-looking but far more helpful. The pharmacist there was very nice and was able to get D. some lozenges, though we're not sure how effective they are or how many to take because his accent was kind of weird and he talked a bit fast (despite the fact that I told him we were Americans and that at one of us didn't speak French).

To summarize, here are the things we have found to be wrong with French Healthcare Organization:

1. Do not put a hospital at the top of a big-ass hill.
1a. Do not put the Urgent Care center at the BACK of the campus.
2. Call someone first (like the hospital) to make sure that they really are the only solution and that other doctors will be open.
3. Just because a national holiday was yesterday does not mean that ALL DOCTORS should take a four-day weekend. People still get sick the day after Bastille Day.
3a. Pharmacists should not be depended on to know schedules of local doctors, despite the fact that they fill their prescriptions and are in constant contact with them.
3b. If the doctor IS open, he should have normal operating hours and not have huge gaps between appointment times (none of this work for 2 hours then have a four-hour lunch BS).
4. Pharmacists will never ever be helpful when you really need something and will essentially tell you your problem is none of their concern. Though don't lose heart - there IS someone who will be helpful - you just can't have them involved in your problem.

All in all, I think I like the organization that we've got going on in the states. Hours are clear, if there's going to be a holiday or everyone is booked there is always another option for health care, and for the most part pharmacists will at least help you find a GD lozenge.